nolankido.comTechnology · Living Well · Poker · Creative Work
Nolan Kido / Living Well

Nolan Kido / Living Well

A conversation worth having

With another person

A conversation, not an interview to extract.

This is a guide you can use now, not a transcript of a conversation that has already happened. Invite someone who wants to participate. A disagreement can be interesting without becoming a debate to win, and a conversation does not have to become publishable content.

Begin with permission and a manageable question

Ask whether the topic interests them. Agree that either person may skip a question, change direction, or stop. Listening without recording is the simplest starting point. Do not use an AI listener, transcription service, or recording device without discussing it first.

Six questions to choose from

  1. What ordinary moment has felt meaningful to you recently?
  2. Is there a question you are more comfortable leaving open than you used to be?
  3. What does spiritual language help you express, and what does it make harder?
  4. Where has technology made it easier for you to show up for someone?
  5. What part of your life would you rather not measure or optimize?
  6. What have you changed your mind about, and what helped you reconsider?

Stay with the answer

Ask for the speaker's meaning rather than supplying yours. What did that word mean to them? Did their interpretation change? What do they still find difficult? Do not turn a pause into a demand for a dramatic revelation. Their experience is not a general proof of a spiritual or scientific claim.

End without converting the person into content

You can simply thank them and keep the exchange between you. Before sharing a quotation, recording, transcript, or AI-assisted summary, agree on the exact version, audience, and attribution. Make room for corrections and for material to remain private. A yes to talking is not automatically a yes to publication.

For a recorded family conversation, use the more detailed family-story guide. The consent and review approach there draws on the Oral History Association's ethics guidance.

One question afterwards: Did I become more curious about this person, or mostly more interested in explaining myself?